The struggle in recovering from an injury, in this case my left knee for almost 6 months now, is that I cannot train properly for serious racing any distances, even the short 2 mile race. But the struggle is not only in my body but also in my mind. So the race itself becomes my speed work because during the week I cannot train hard, as I have to be careful not to re-injure my weak left knee. Therefore my fitness, my cardiovascular efficiency mostly, is lacking when it comes to running a relatively fast time.
In my heart am grateful that I can push my knee for 2 miles or 5Km even at this point in my recovery. But in my mind I get frustrated when I know I can do much better than my results reflects in terms of time or pace. I'll be 68 in one month, so at my age it may look like an okay time (14:47). But it is almost 4 and a half minutes slower than my P.R. for 2 miles (10:23), which was 36 years ago actually. Even still, if I think about it, that's more than 2 minutes slower per mile! Why does it seem so hard yet it is so slow?
Again, in my mind I think of how I ran a marathon at a 6:15 per mile pace. Now I struggle to run only 2 miles at a 7:23 per mile pace. SO if I can stay in the safety of my grateful heart while trying to avoid the calculating and analytical mind, I will be happy no matter what my time is. I am grateful to still be running and racing, no matter how relatively slowly it may seem to me. The time does not really matter. "My own gratitude-heart is all that matters." (Sri Chinmoy)